Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Blair Witch Meets Generic Cop Movie Meets Buddy Comedy

I've been mostly dreaming about babies lately, but this one seemed interesting.

I was in my cabin in the woods, at the edge of a hill that led down to a lake. The reason I was there was that I was a suspended for not being able to solve the case of all those kidnapped kids. Did I mention I was a cop? There had been a string of kidnappings of kids around 4-5 years old and the Chief had suspended me for the usual clichés.

We were there, my partner and I, just passing the time in the cabin. I don't think he was suspended too, but was just there to pass the time with me. We were bored because our old TV was broken and the power was out.

During the night, I heard some voices echoing from the toilet. This seemed pretty normal: just sound reverberating through the pipes. But we decided to investigate early the next morning.

About 20 feet down the hill from my cabin, there was a trail that followed the lakeshore, about 5 foot above the shore line. We followed it. We came across all sorts of weird discarded things that seemed to have been just thrown down the hill, like a whole entertainment unit. My partner started looking at the TV and said we should bring it up to see if it worked. I said it looked suspiciously like my old one we'd thrown down the hill. He didn't seem to get it. I said we better keep going and that we could get it on the way back. Later we came across a broken computer desk, complete with broken computer. I was a little more interested with all the cables, but we had to keep going.

We came to the end of the trail to an old house in a clearing, the porch facing the trail. We knocked on the door and an old lady answered. She lived with another old lady and had a bunch of kids with her. Right there we got suspicious: how many 4-5 year old kids can you have at the same time? We identified ourselves as cops and said we wanted to see their basement. They were all nice and helpful, especially the kids, as they led us through the house to the basement.

We formed a line to go down the basement stairs: one lady, my partner, the other lady and some kids. Being the most cautious, I decided to go last. The kid right in front of me was weirding me out for some reason: something in his eyes. The basement was a typical house basement, with nothing special except for the room with a closed wooden door. My partner went in with the ladies and I waited a while.

I asked him a few times if he was OK, but he didn't answer. I barged in. The first old lady was there, staring at me; bald (she'd removed her wig) and wearing lots of make up (almost like a clown, but not funny). All I could see was her face, but out of my peripheral vision I could the other old lady with the kids doing some sort of séance around a table. My partner had been hypnotized and was facing the corner. I saw all this in a fraction of a second and then closed my eyes. I knew I'd been hypnotized too, and that I'd lose control if I opened my eyes. I pulled out my gun a fired blindly.

Later, it was the end of the movie. I'd apparently hit the old lady and there were a bunch of cop cars around the house. The Chief was there, telling me I was a loose canon but I'd gotten the job done and other cop clichés. Apparently, the old ladies were planning to use hypnotized kids to take over the world or something.

My partner asked if we could go back for the TV. Stupid comedy relief.

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